sometimes i fell too deeply into the murky mud of the mind. stuck in the swamp; frozen in layers which land as cement. i have forgotten to place my eyes on the skyline - look up and see what wide span of nothing that is everything instead of a forced transfixion on the dark endless wave formed by the undercurrent. untangling the weeds of all that could have, would have, should have, or might be is akin to a delusional lunacy. for there is nothing we have but this moment, right here in front of us. to be sure that moment of right now, and right now, is for many a nightmarish hell and i have yet to square a reconciliation of that. the only thing that keeps me sane is blind belief in some measure of hope.