the great escape
It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light. Aristotle Onassis
It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light. Aristotle Onassis
While many of us in colder climates feel the darkest shadows of winter in counter productive ways, this year has felt barren; the lifelessness of dormant trees sticking out of a flat dull sky, muted color and the absence of a pulse save any kind of vibrant color. While each wave of news crashes in on itself, I've been left feeling rather empty, barren, null and void. And it hasn't helped that this time of year tends to be the slowest. So I was ever so thankful for an escape away to the land of perpetual sunshine and warmth. To see green and growth and to feel the waves wash away the undertow of lackluster hope. Sometimes a change in scenery connects me back to what is real and true and ever lasting and digging into the pockets of hope and inspiration, I'm able to see the jewels of truth.
the women's march | boston
A sea of love colored by pink hats and warm smiles. Despite the darkness on screen and the shadows many of us have felt these past months, we rose and came together in a bonded band of unity and unshakable love.
A sea of love colored by pink hats and warm smiles. Despite the darkness on screen and the shadows many of us have felt these past months, we rose and came together in a bonded band of unity and unshakable love.
Together we stood for peace. For compassion. For hope. For strength. For a mandate on what our country is ... and for what it is not. All ages and races and genders bearing witness in peace. It was a much needed show of strength and visibility. A beacon that will light our pathway forward. While I was part of the photography team that covered this monumental event, I often felt overwhelmed and swallowed up by the love and affection and the pride of every person I met along the way that day. The kindness and togetherness summarized by this picture of a little girl who caught my eye ... and who sat up taller and smiled wide as she hugged her dolly ... this is who we are.
the wide span of nothing that is everything
Sitting. Meditation. Mindfulness. While these practices have become more mainstream, they are ones I've wanted to commit to more formally.
Sitting. Meditation. Mindfulness. While these practices have become more mainstream, they are ones I've wanted to commit to more formally. So last spring, I took the leap and committed to 7:00am Zazen on Tuesdays and Thursdays at the Zen Center North Shore. I can honestly say that June was one of the best months I've ever had. Those two days grounded my week in ways of a structure and discipline, and I felt an expansion that was peaceful and liberating.
As my ride to the Zen Center includes a sweeping vista of the coastline, I decided I wanted to take one photograph a week as a reminder of my commitment, so I left early enough for a moment of reverence. The very first picture I took on May 26th marked the beginning - The Wide Span of Nothing that is Everything. And so this project and personal endeavor began.
Though projects and personal travel and commitments pulled me away from mid summer to late fall, I recommitted to a daily practice and as part of my personal ritual, I stop to take a photograph most every morning.
While the project began rather loosely (void of structure) and is still taking shape, I've been returning to a similar vantage point. Not precisely, but approximate. I say that as what I''m looking at is the sky, it doesn't always present itself from one point of view.
I believe in the year ahead, I'll start to journal a little more and add a phrase or thoughts. Or not. i don't honestly know. I don't feel a need to figure it out either because it's tied to my practice which is a path one simply sits in rather than defining.
This is the beginning and the end and all that's between.
wish you were here | 2016
Fifty two images shared each week with other photographers from all over the world who became friends after participating in one of Deb Schwedhelm's online or in person workshops.
Fifty two images shared each week with other photographers from all over the world who became friends after participating in one of Deb Schwedhelm's online or in person workshops. This is the second year of sharing a weekly virtual postcard which are unplanned and unthemed. None of us know what others will submit yet the images connect as if we had planned them in advance. For my part, while I generally have a strong sense of what scene or moment I'd like to share, one thing I was mindful of was connecting my images to each other while still offering an impression of a moment that I wished I could share with others. In that regard, I made a few changes - swapped an image or two out here and there because my eyes at the end of the year were clearer than they were in the midst. This was my favorite year to date in finding a stride and clear pathway forward ... and sharing this with others is a gift.
another year in a strange year
Somehow as the years tick by, my birthday becomes more of reflection than of celebration. And this year was sobering
Somehow as the years tick by, my birthday becomes more of reflection than of celebration. And this year was sobering as we're living through a time when the news of the day seems to pile and explode in on itself. I'm frankly not sure sometimes if I'm standing on real ground.
And so I took myself to the PEM to step out and away into another space of art - a mirror that always allows me to walk through the doors to a past. I thought about my time in art school and how far away that now feels. I thought about unrealized dreams and plans that never materialized. I thumbed through pages of the decades ... and while I intuitively lean towards all that wasn't, I'm equally aware of all that was. So it was interesting to step into my favorite space - the Founders Room - and find it completely empty ... bare walls and vacant spaces (removed while the museum begins another expansion). It was a beautiful metaphor when one considers an empty mind:
“The Buddha-essence is emptiness of traits of adventitious [defilement's] with discrimination's, but it is not emptiness of the supreme attributes of Buddha-hood, which have the character of differentiation's” (Uttaratantra).
While the grandiose visions I painted through in my mind haven't materialized in quite the same way, it is irrelevant for all we have is before us in this moment. And in the moments of this day, I realized that the sketch of what is now can only be traced by the intent of my heart. And despite the fragility of our times, I know without question my heart is filled with goodness. And I was reminded of all that gives me hope in the layers and lines - here are my impressions.
fine art school portraits
I've been eager to offer a different kind of experience for the kids, immersing them into an introduction of art; one filled with nature and light, laughter and memory. And imprinting this as a picture.
I've thought about this off and on for years. The on part was eager to offer a different kind of experience for the kids, immersing them into an introduction of art; one filled with nature and light, laughter and memory. And imprinting this as a picture.
One without background choices and similar poses.
One void of emotionless smiles and predictable postures.
The image I envisioned was natural and carefree and filled with the wonderment of childhood.
The off side of me was aware of the undertaking. Of all the non-creative yet critical components. The schedule and organization and creation of marketing pieces which also mandated a logic of prices. The announcements and reminder. The contract. Then the actual photographing and monitoring the changing light, the balance of whiteness and color, the turning of head and placement to be sure the light mirrored the personality. All while ensuring a line of wiggling kids were entertained. Once photographed, the downloading into software, the sorting and selecting, the image development ensuring contrast, tone and exposure were adjusted and then turning each one into black and white. Then the uploading into each individual proofing gallery, individually releasing those to each parent, following up with questions and concerns, tracking orders, placing orders with the lab, packaging them all then delivering.
How in the world does one begin to wrap one's head around all the intricate and necessary parts let alone commence.
In a word - Michelle Morri's Unpacked Catalog and community proved invaluable in making this all happen. Granted there were errors and lessons learned, but the degree to which these were minimized speaks to the effectiveness of Michelle's program. I would also mention that i chose to collaborate with a school who's values and mission are ones I believe in and support; with people I've gotten to know quite well over many years. Their willingness to truly partner in this endeavor can't be understated. For this to work on the level it did, partnership is key. So teachers were helpful, engaged and excited. The kids in turn were without question, present and open. The results were simply beautiful. Here are a few from that day.
into the unknown
It's hard to know what lies ahead in a world that feels upside down and flooded in a shadow of murky waters except for the weight of the long uphill climb that we've arrived at.
It's hard to know what lies ahead in a world that feels upside down and flooded in a shadow of murky waters except for the weight of the long uphill climb that we've arrived at.
I haven't ever literally shared my views as it's been a preference to tuck my truths in a cloak: the art of words can be a lovely veil to wear. But at this point in time, I am unable to weave a magical tapestry for my inside screams have become intolerable.
It's been a long year. And I've spent the majority of that year in a private heightened sense of anxiety given the circus that headlined the news. While most laughed it off as something preposterous, outlandish, improbable, I sat alert. Kind of like looking as a caged python began to chew away at the wires until it freed itself.
And now here we are in a brand new epic unknown. Since that day, I've not known how to be within myself, let alone with others. I've not been able to write, photograph or feel any sense of possibility. Maybe unlike most, I've turned inward; searched my soul and my heart. You see in ways, I feel like my truths have been violated or somehow tangled up into knots I can't undo. It's a helpless feeling. And the only way out is through.
I realized this weekend that we all have to find our way through together. For me, that will mean speaking my truth more plainly than I have in ways that are kind of frightening. It's easy to think about some days until that day arrives.
And that day is upon me.
@home session
In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future. Alex Haley
In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future. Alex Haley
As I was headed onto a flight to NYC for a site visit on an event I''m working on, I had a call from this family to photograph their son's upcoming Bar Mitzvah that was taking place one week after I was returning from a week of work on another event with over 50,000 in attendance. (For those not in the know, my profession prior to photography was event management and I still pick up programs in tandem with photography clients). At any rate, they were very eager for the pre-Bar MItzvah home session and the only day we could manage between our schedules was the afternoon after my overnight flight across the country which landed at 6am. I was thankful to my husband for offering to drive; even though I'd had a nap, I was preserving everything I had to give to this family. On arrival I was greeted by warmth and conversation (and a welcome cup of coffee) and soon after, we began. I'm always so pleased when a family not only appreciates black and white photography, but knows how to dress for it (ie dark clothes tend to allow for a focus on hands and faces). We covered a range of activities that highlight their everyday time together - soccer, athletics, a silly family portrait they've taken since they had children, semi-formal portraits, fresh lemonade (as in the real lemons, sugar and water) - and then rehearsing for the Bar Mitzvah service. We ended our time together with an idea they had to look through old photo albums together. Their laughter, love, connection and joyfulness was a visible tonic. It was through them, and their beautiful spirits that I left lighter and brighter and refreshed.
Early Fall Bar Mitzvah | Marblehead
“September was a thirty-days long goodbye to summer, to the season that left everybody both happy and weary of the warm, humid weather and the exhausting but thrilling adventures.”
― Lea Malot
“September was a thirty-days long goodbye to summer, to the season that left everybody both happy and weary of the warm, humid weather and the exhausting but thrilling adventures.”
― Lea Malot
On a day when it felt more like late summer than early Fall with warm winds and a full moon high in the sky. A boy, basketball, his best friend, a sister he adores (though wouldn’t ever admit it) and parents who are in lock step with their children. That’s where we began with this family on a beautiful warm early Fall evening outside over a game of basketball. They shared stories and exchanged affectionate humor. There was a lot of laughing (and eye rolling in jest) and a studied “model” pose kind of face which I personally admired during portraits. When we headed back inside and they sat on the floor immersed in conversation, time felt like a beautiful pause. The story of this family continued on the morning of the ceremony surrounded by a swirl of grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. After a short rehearsal and portraits, I left and returned for the first emotions transitioning to lunch. We ended that evening at a brilliant Party at an art gallery complete with a DJ, dancing & Hora. As the first in this family, this is a story of emotions and expressions of gratitude and pride, of traditions new and old bound up with laughter and love.
THE STORY IN A BOOK
A SELECTION OF FAVORITES
Service held at Temple Emanuel in Marblehead and Party at RAW Artworks in Lynn.
family documentary part one - the move
Any time I see an inquiry from my website, my heart skips I beat. Silly maybe, but I'm sincerely touched that there's a person out there in the world who took a moment to look through my work and felt moved enough to reach out.
Any time I see an inquiry from my website, my heart skips I beat. Silly maybe, but I'm sincerely touched that there's a person out there in the world who took a moment to look through my work and felt moved enough to reach out. So when this particular inquiry happened to be from a documentary filmmaker, I was pretty much silenced. (which doesn't happen that often!)
Of course I immediately went to look at her films ... and discovered a kindred spirit. Her films explore deep and difficult subjects told with dignity and heart. So learning she chose me to document her family because she feels the art in what I create actually made me cry.
As her family was in the midst of transition - moving from an apartment that's been in her husband's family for some time (as in many in his family have lived here at one time or another), the home they made together on their return from her time in Ireland where she's pursuing an MFA in film studies, the tiny space they're leaving to start a new life in their first home, she wanted this part included.
So I arrived the day of the move a few hours before they picked up the truck to document the chaos and the quiet spaces in between those. We covered a lot in a little bit of time - the last breakfast, a quiet moment on the couch, silliness and the last time in the pool, and a little when the truck arrived (which by that time, had affected the older of the two children).
While it is always a privilege to be chosen by what is a crowded field of talent in the world today, I guess being selected by one with a learned eye and an artists heart gave me a much needed lift. So here is a selection that tells the story of moving.
L'avenir, comme tout le reste, est pas ce qu'il était
The future, like everything else, is not what it used to be. ~ Paul Valery
The future, like everything else, is not what it used to be. ~ Paul Valery
The French Riviera, Nice
And so I watched the television screen replay the video while tears fell from my eyes and my heart cracked into a different kind of grief broken only by pauses of silent shock as it was a little less than one year ago today that I had a chance to spend three weeks in a paradise of blue and white light that bounces and reflects a warm radiance. A mythical city where each impression was a lyrical sensation - the language, the food, the people, the art, the antiquity in the modernity. I was struck by the care given to something as humble as a baguette and coffee, for the simple pleasure of sitting under the awning of a cafe lingering in timelessness - no particular place to be at any particular time sans agenda.
While my time in Nice wasn't particularly an easy one given the task I was there to fulfill, I was warmed by a beautiful group of people who embraced me in a way I hadn't expected. I was surprised by a rise of internal independence and a voice that had long gone silent finding it's way out into the world. On fragile wings I navigated this beautiful city in an ordinary way: walking the streets, sitting in outdoor cafes, strolling on the Promenade de Anglais, afternoon time at the beach to immerse in the sea and delighting in the simple pleasure of a meal. I had no phone to preoccupy me, no book or newspaper nor could I speak the language. I only had my senses to work with and my camera and pen/paper to relay and preserve my impressions.
So what has happened in Nice ripped through me in a way I cannot describe. And after ensuring the safety of those I adore who live in the city, I went to the photographs which I've never shown as a whole. As a way of extending love and my own little flower on an altar of prayer, I felt a need to share images from my time both in color and black and white. For this is the city I had the great fortune to spend time in and a place I will return to again.
This is the city of Nice. A jewel that shines in the heart of the French Riviera.
In color
and black and white
long weekend in maine
I had just come off of a rather stressful event project the first time I visited Maine and I will never forget the ride to there from Boston.
I had just come off of a rather stressful event the first time I visited Maine and I will never forget the ride to there from Boston. As the miles ticked by, so did all the burden's I'd carried over many months. And by the time I arrived, I felt I'd escaped into neverland.
Solstice Full Moon, York Maine - 2016
The ten days in Southern Maine actually led to the decision to move. A decision that arose after a day on Ogunquit Beach . As I sat on a patio having a snack, lingering over the last bits of sunshine, a ladybug flew onto my hand and being their significance in our world, I took it as a sign of all that had been blowing through my brain. I'm not sure what it is about Maine, or the Southern part we frequent, but there is something decidedly different. The pace is a little slower, my heart is a bit more open and appreciative, and everything just feels a little simpler and softer. So took advantage of an offer to spend a long weekend and left the world for four long beautiful days. Awakening early each morning with coffee on a deck surrounded by tall trees, time on an empty beach as it wasn't yet high season, and walks along the ocean does something to a person's soul in a good way. That our short visit happened to coincide with a solstice sun and full moon was icing on the cake. I guess there's a reason for the sign as we cross over the border from New Hampshire: Maine - The Way Life Should Be.
a summer bar mitzvah
"I found a fruitful world, because my ancestors planted it for me. Likewise I am planting for my children." ~ Talmud, Taanit 23a
"I found a fruitful world, because my ancestors planted it for me. Likewise I am planting for my children." ~ Talmud, Taanit 23a
The potato plant.
On the session at home a few weeks before the event, I learned that the Bar Mitzvah boy to be had planted a potato and from it, sprouted a plant. And as were but in the first weeks of summer before Solstice), I felt a profound symbolism in this little plant.
His story is one of family ... and friends he's known since he was a little; it is a collage of sports and music and science and community. A personality that is at once both public and private striking the right balance between outer and inner.
We wove a few of the day-to-day goings on in at home and a few weeks later, came together again on the Bar Mitzvah day for portraits at the Temple, family portraits at the venue and a few details of the setting. I have no words to describe my experience inside Temple Ohabei Shalom ....along the lines of what it translates to - Lovers of Peace. Being surrounded by extended family who gathered to celebrate this milestone ... the laughter, the love, the traditions. Our time together ended two days later at the brunch - a gathering that told the story of how exhausting a rich experience can be. I chose a sample of images to share with the collection of them being custom designed into a larger book that tells the story of the people, the places, the moments, the experience and the boy that was and is now a man.
I am always moved by those who choose me to cover this particular event for I am deeply moved by the emotions and nuances, the preservation of customs, and the profound symbolism this day marks.
The sample of images shown will be folded into the collection and presented in a custom designed book
belongings & belonging
This year's annual project with two schools and the local art museum titled Belongings and Belonging.
This year's project with students from Cohen Hillel Academy & Salem Academy Charter School in partnership with the Peabody Essex Museum concluded in wrapping up a year long examination considering how our belongings connect to our identities, our cultures and our values.
What do our belongings reveal about who we are, what we do, and what we value? How are our belongings similar to those of others? How do our belongings differ than the ones owned by young people across town or a century ago?
Guided by these questions and PEM’s Connecting Community philosophy to “present and interpret works of art and culture in ways that connect art to the world,” this project linked two communities of learners who would not otherwise have a way to meet one another and get to know each other’s stories.
My role was similar to prior years (2015, 2014) in that I photographed each session to show the interaction between the student's and the lessons while highlighting the connections between them and the community that evolved. For this year's program, the student's were asked to bring in special belongings that gave insights to their identity, and I photographed in a few ways - one of their object and a portrait of them with their object. All portraits of their objects were taken at a downward angle as I wanted to show their feet as shoes reveal another aspect of identity. For the portrait of them with their object, they were free to pose in any way they wanted to express their personality. Lastly I took a simple portrait of each student and only asked that they cross their arms and lean against a wall.
The collection of photographs was once again designed into a book alongside insights and thoughts from the students and the photographs were displayed at a final class session held at the Peabody Essex Museum.
first year of life story | salem, ma
Born at a time of year when everything muted suddenly fills with color, her entrance was a breath of spring air ...
Born at a time of year when everything muted suddenly fills with color, her entrance was a breath of spring air and the opening of a peony - fragrant and delicate, soft and wrapped in layers of joy. This is the first year story of a beautiful star child filled with an eternal smile, the soul of a sage and a heart that bursts with the radiance of a tiny laughing Buddha.
Signature 12x12 inch Book printed with a beautiful linen cover.
surprise birthday | brookline, ma
One of the best parts in working with others is remaining connected and after documenting their wedding years ago, ...
One of the best parts in working with others is remaining connected and after documenting their wedding years ago, I was happy to accept the opportunity to document yet another milestone - that of Michael's 40th birthday. Planned by Claudia as a surprise that included parents and family from across the country and surrounded by local friends, it landed with complete disbelief and a warm embrace.
Held in an exquisite home of a talented artist who's beautiful work graced the walls alongside inspirational elements that were simply fascinating. As a bonus, we were all able to see the Claudia's design for an extension of the kitchen onto a back yard deck. But the true highlight of it all outside of seeing his parents and family, were the expressions and embraces, the connection of family and friends, and the memory of this beautiful afternoon.
at two
They say there's always a first and after spending time with this little over the first year of her life, I was sad to see this little bit of shyness with the camera that turned into more of a terror.
They say there's always a first and after spending time with this little over the first year of her life, I was sad to see this little bit of shyness with the camera that turned into more of a terror.
But once she understood it was her I was looking at (and that she could see herself), things settled down. These were taken as a make up of sorts in a special vintage dress for her Baptism; a dress and coat that was given to her Mother by a friend who wore this same outfit at her Baptism in 1950. The tailoring and well made craftsmanship of this dress with its large bow on the back, puffy sleeves and full skirt speaks to another age and time. We opted to forego anything seriously formal as these best fit her personality. For one who brings such lightness and love into the world, I can only wish her the happiest of birthdays - this year, at two.
at home on a pond near the woods
The day-to-day in mid-summer with a three year old might look something like this ... a deck filled with toys, a silly question and the dog simply worn out.
The day-to-day in mid-summer with a three year old might look something like this ... a deck filled with toys, a silly question and the dog simply worn out.
A friend with a kind heart and a girl with a beautiful spirit, I wanted to share the joy these two share together in the everyday at home. We took advantage of their location overlooking a pond and the proximity of the woods nearby. While the portraits were a little trickier in holding one this little still, we got a natural exchange that involved a kiss on the cheek. Here was our day together.
living in color | new mexico
The path to this week-long story of photographs started the year before in creating a lifestyle website for Michelle and an ensuing need for photographs ...
The path to this week-long story of photographs started the year before in creating a lifestyle website for Michelle and an ensuing need for photographs - in particular, portraits of her surfing. And as she'd learned how to surf in on the seacoast of New Hampshire, she decided to travel to New England. One year later, and a need for new photographs, a refreshed website and a new food and wisdom website which she was launching the following year, Michelle decided it was time for me to travel to her home in Albuquerque for a week-long documentary featuring all the elements of her life - her dogs, entertaining, food, writing, cooking, restaurants, grocery shopping, her faith and her love of sports - golf, tennis and swimming. Additionally, we wove in a fair number of portraits and stock images of her home and surroundings. While I've opted to pull just a few of the many presented, I can only say I hope this opportunity presents itself again. Traveling to a new area, being inspired by different surroundings ... and for me, working primarily in color - it's a project I'd take again in a heartbeat.
springtime in february
While a gift to have a 70 degree day on the first of February (particularly given the series of storms last year at this time), it is a most likely the result of the changing climate with confused seasons and an unpredictable forecast.
While a gift to have a 70 degree day on the first of February (particularly given the series of storms last year at this time), it is a most likely the result of the changing climate with confused seasons and an unpredictable forecast. To say it was impossible to remain indoors was an understatement, particularly when there's a deep awareness that this isn't going to last.
boat and lines | marblehead, ma, 2016
Wells Blog
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